Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
