I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
