your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
