he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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