She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
