she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
