there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
