My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
accomplished twins. life is a go
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
