I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
