Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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