Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
