Do you still have your period?
Can Purell be used as lube?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
