a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
