you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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