if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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