Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
