You can't special order awesome
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
