Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
where am i from again
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
