I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
bring money and cleavage
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
