Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
