I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
