The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize