I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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