i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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