were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Less talking, more tequila
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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