I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
