Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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