We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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