If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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