Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
