I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
