singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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