have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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