dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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