she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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