his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
