are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
