Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
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