Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
