Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
