We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
