I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
