I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
