i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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