just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
