I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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