I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
