please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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