ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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