Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize