Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
