"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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