Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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