ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
