We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize