he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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