and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
