There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
