Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
