Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
