Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
